Speaking with Confidence and Influence

Dennis Collins: 00:00:10

Hello again, and welcome to Connect & Convert, Insider Strategies

Dennis Collins: 00:00:16

for Small Business Sales Success, where our belief is, it's not about what

Dennis Collins: 00:00:21

you learn, it's about what you do.

Dennis Collins: 00:00:24

Hey, I'm Dennis Collins, and I'm joined today by my colleague, Leah Bumfrey.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:29

Hi, Leah.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:30

Hello, hello.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:31

Hello.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:32

And somewhere in the ether, Paul is there looking out for us.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:37

I can just tell.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:38

I can just tell.

Dennis Collins: 00:00:40

Thank God.

Dennis Collins: 00:00:41

I don't know if we could do this on our own.

Dennis Collins: 00:00:43

In fact, no, I do know we couldn't.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:44

You and I would be having a nice cup of coffee.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:48

If we were in Canada, we'd be at Tim Hortons.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:50

I don't know where we'd be in the States.

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:51

Would it be Starbucks?

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:52

We'd be just having a chat.

Dennis Collins: 00:00:54

You don't have Starbucks up in Canada?

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:56

We do, but it doesn't have the same legendary

Leah Bumphry: 00:00:59

appeal as a Tim Hortons.

Leah Bumphry: 00:01:01

When you come see me up here and help me shovel snow, we'll, we'll talk.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:04

Yeah, uh, don't hold your breath on that one.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:08

I would love to see you, but how about July?

Dennis Collins: 00:01:12

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:12

All right.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:12

All right.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:13

All right.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:14

All right.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:14

Speaking with confidence, Leah.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:16

Speaking with confidence.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:18

What does science have to tell us about being heard, understood, and influential?

Dennis Collins: 00:01:23

I I don't know.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:25

I was never a very confident speaker growing up.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:29

You know, I, I ended up being a radio DJ and a host and all that behind the mic.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:35

But were you a cop?

Dennis Collins: 00:01:37

Were you a confident speaker?

Dennis Collins: 00:01:38

I mean, I bet you were.

Dennis Collins: 00:01:39

I bet you stood up at age seven and did speeches.

Leah Bumphry: 00:01:43

I did.

Leah Bumphry: 00:01:43

And I, I always loved it.

Leah Bumphry: 00:01:46

Uh, public speaking to me, it was just a whole connection with a

Leah Bumphry: 00:01:49

whole bunch of people all at once.

Leah Bumphry: 00:01:51

And I, I, I just was thrilled with it.

Leah Bumphry: 00:01:54

What I do know is anyone can learn to be a confident speaker.

Leah Bumphry: 00:01:58

That doesn't mean you're going to learn to love to public speak.

Leah Bumphry: 00:02:01

There's, there's a difference.

Leah Bumphry: 00:02:02

And for most of us in our, in our public that are in our, our business

Leah Bumphry: 00:02:06

lives, you have to learn to be confident because what is sales?

Leah Bumphry: 00:02:10

Being able to transfer confidence now.

Leah Bumphry: 00:02:12

I'm not talking about being fake and I'm not talking about no, you know

Leah Bumphry: 00:02:17

being there You know having to have this bold effervescent personality.

Leah Bumphry: 00:02:20

It's confidence can be quiet And it doesn't mean you're going to love

Leah Bumphry: 00:02:24

it, but you can learn how to do it.

Dennis Collins: 00:02:28

Yes, you can.

Dennis Collins: 00:02:29

So what if I told you that anyone can learn to speak with more confidence?

Dennis Collins: 00:02:34

People are more likely to listen to you.

Dennis Collins: 00:02:37

Do you want people to listen to you if you're in sales, if

Dennis Collins: 00:02:39

you're a manager, a leader?

Dennis Collins: 00:02:41

Hey, if you're a spouse, a husband, a wife, do you want

Dennis Collins: 00:02:44

your kids to listen to you?

Dennis Collins: 00:02:46

Well, guess what?

Dennis Collins: 00:02:47

There are ways that you can become more persuasive.

Dennis Collins: 00:02:50

It can be learned.

Dennis Collins: 00:02:52

You want to be more certain, more confident, more self

Dennis Collins: 00:02:55

assured, more knowledgeable.

Dennis Collins: 00:02:57

Well, the scientists, again, you know, I always turn to science.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:00

Leah is of, Leah is of the heart.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:04

I am.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:04

And I am of the science.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:06

So we blend.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:07

We blend.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:08

It's a good combination.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:10

I think it is.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:11

But scientists have now researched this.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:13

They've researched everything at one time or another.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:15

And they have now defined the most powerful words.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:19

And they have defined the fact that this skill can be learned

Dennis Collins: 00:03:22

by choosing your words carefully.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:24

You can increase your verbal power.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:27

Do I need to say why this is important in sales?

Dennis Collins: 00:03:30

That is how we make a living in sales.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:33

With words.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:35

So let's, uh, let me say first of all that all of the science that

Dennis Collins: 00:03:41

we're gonna discuss in this episode is based on research conducted by

Dennis Collins: 00:03:45

one of my favorite professors, Dr.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:48

Jonah Berger, professor at the Wharton School, university of Pennsylvania.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:54

He is a prolific author.

Dennis Collins: 00:03:56

A well known and sought after speaker and a business consultant.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:02

So this stuff is, the science part of this is coming from Jonah Berger.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:06

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:08

So Leah, have you ever tried listening to someone who kind of hedges?

Dennis Collins: 00:04:12

Well, kind of, maybe somewhat, usually generally.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:16

Have you ever heard somebody talk like that?

Dennis Collins: 00:04:18

Maybe something, maybe around, maybe some kind of.

Leah Bumphry: 00:04:23

Absolutely.

Leah Bumphry: 00:04:24

And you know what?

Leah Bumphry: 00:04:25

You know right away what else is going on there.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:28

Yeah.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:28

Well, what else?

Dennis Collins: 00:04:29

Yeah.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:30

Hedging.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:31

Well, the problem is people deduct that there's nothing going on there.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:35

It lessens the impact.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:37

It suggests that you're uncertain, that your ideas aren't worth considering.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:41

So the first hint that I want to give today is if you find yourself

Dennis Collins: 00:04:46

using those hedge words, forget them.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:49

Definite words.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:50

Definitely.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:51

Clearly.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:52

Obviously.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:53

It's totally clear.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:54

That projects confidence.

Dennis Collins: 00:04:57

That makes it more easy and more likely that people will

Dennis Collins: 00:05:01

listen to you and follow you.

Dennis Collins: 00:05:04

What about this?

Dennis Collins: 00:05:05

This is one that's debated over and over again, and I'd

Dennis Collins: 00:05:08

love your opinion on this one.

Dennis Collins: 00:05:10

Science has something to say about this, but I'd like to hear

Dennis Collins: 00:05:12

what Leah thinks about this.

Dennis Collins: 00:05:14

How about occasionally admitting I screwed up?

Dennis Collins: 00:05:19

Oh, I can't, I messed up.

Dennis Collins: 00:05:20

It's on me.

Dennis Collins: 00:05:22

It's my fault.

Dennis Collins: 00:05:23

How about that?

Dennis Collins: 00:05:24

How does that help?

Dennis Collins: 00:05:25

Doesn't that hinder communication?

Dennis Collins: 00:05:27

Doesn't that make you look bad?

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:28

It becomes real.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:31

Now that's if you really did screw up, not, not if you're,

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:35

you're making an affectation so that you seem more real people.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:39

Let's say you really screwed up.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:41

Yeah.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:41

Yeah.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:42

I mean.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:42

The.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:42

The.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:42

The.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:43

It, when you are willing to do that, it actually makes the connection stronger.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:48

And think about in personal life that, that's very true.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:51

So much so, so much more in business because in business you

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:56

don't have a lot of times any kind of a relationship with someone.

Leah Bumphry: 00:05:59

If you can come forward and I, we've all been in those situations, human

Leah Bumphry: 00:06:03

error, something goes wrong, a mistake is made, the wrong part is ordered.

Leah Bumphry: 00:06:08

This this happened.

Leah Bumphry: 00:06:10

And I am so sorry, and that's not how I wanted to do it, but

Leah Bumphry: 00:06:13

I'm going to make it better.

Leah Bumphry: 00:06:15

It gives you the opportunity to forge a relationship.

Leah Bumphry: 00:06:18

If you're not willing to do that, it's, it's not a real conversation.

Dennis Collins: 00:06:22

Well, yes, and science, here I go again, science

Dennis Collins: 00:06:27

has something to say about that.

Dennis Collins: 00:06:30

Absolutely what you said is correct.

Dennis Collins: 00:06:32

Occasionally admitting a mistake.

Dennis Collins: 00:06:36

negates the fact that you're nearly perfect, right?

Dennis Collins: 00:06:40

It makes you more human.

Dennis Collins: 00:06:42

But here is the twist.

Dennis Collins: 00:06:44

There's a twist to this.

Dennis Collins: 00:06:46

It only works if you're already perceived to be competent.

Dennis Collins: 00:06:51

You see what I'm saying?

Dennis Collins: 00:06:52

If you are perceived to be a loser, incompetent, okay, not

Dennis Collins: 00:06:57

capable, admitting a mistake.

Dennis Collins: 00:07:00

It only builds the case against you.

Dennis Collins: 00:07:03

But if you are viewed as a person who is generally dependable and

Dennis Collins: 00:07:07

competent, occasionally admitting mistake makes you approachable.

Dennis Collins: 00:07:11

It makes you more vulnerable.

Dennis Collins: 00:07:13

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:07:14

But again, with that caveat.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:16

And I would add to that, Dennis, if you're working with

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:19

someone else who made the mistake and you're the one having to tell the

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:23

client about it, telling them that it was Dennis that made the mistake.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:29

It's the worst thing you can do.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:32

I'm saying, you know what, Paul, that was not my fault.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:36

It was Dennis that did it.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:38

Don't, I'm sorry, I've worked with Dennis, I'm trying.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:42

He keeps on and on and this happened, but I'm gonna fix it.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:47

I love Dennis.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:49

I end up looking, especially if there's no relationship there, I

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:52

look like someone passing the buck.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:54

I'm kicking Dennis windows down.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:55

I'm not willing to work as a team.

Leah Bumphry: 00:07:57

So there, there's some intricacies to being to the honesty, even if.

Leah Bumphry: 00:08:02

Dennis, even if you did mess up, I'm not going to say it was you.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:08

Well, there's one exception to that.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:10

Anything that gets screwed up on this podcast is Boomer's fault.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:13

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:13

So

Leah Bumphry: 00:08:14

you and I know it.

Leah Bumphry: 00:08:15

Yeah.

Leah Bumphry: 00:08:15

But don't tell him I said that.

Leah Bumphry: 00:08:17

I agree.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:17

No, but you know what, what you're talking

Dennis Collins: 00:08:21

about is the finger pointing.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:23

Yes.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:23

Finger pointing you, you, you, that never works.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:28

Never works.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:29

That is the worst thing you can do.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:32

It's always me and I, I'm uncomfortable when you say that I'm uncomfortable

Dennis Collins: 00:08:37

when you're late for the meeting.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:39

You make me uncomfortable.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:40

I'm not you.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:41

I am uncomfortable when you don't abide by what we agreed to our agreements.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:47

So how about emotional words?

Dennis Collins: 00:08:50

That's a no brainer.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:51

We know.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:53

You don't need the science to know that emotional words and

Dennis Collins: 00:08:56

concepts, they grab attention.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:59

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:08:59

Yep.

Dennis Collins: 00:09:00

But here is another twist.

Dennis Collins: 00:09:02

Maybe you already knew this, Leah, because you're a, a wonderful writer.

Dennis Collins: 00:09:06

Emotion.

Dennis Collins: 00:09:07

There are certain types of emotional words that get more attention than others.

Dennis Collins: 00:09:11

Did you know that?

Leah Bumphry: 00:09:14

Well, I'm not surprised, but tell me more.

Dennis Collins: 00:09:17

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:09:19

How about emotional words that denote uncertainty work better

Dennis Collins: 00:09:24

according to the scientists?

Dennis Collins: 00:09:26

Words like unsettled, anxious, doubtful, unsure, okay?

Dennis Collins: 00:09:33

Positive emotional words are good, but uncertain Emotional words are better.

Dennis Collins: 00:09:42

Isn't that interesting?

Leah Bumphry: 00:09:43

And you know, that makes sense to me, because when

Leah Bumphry: 00:09:45

we feel uncertain, we're actually baring our soul a little bit more.

Leah Bumphry: 00:09:49

We're actually sharing something a little bit deeper.

Leah Bumphry: 00:09:52

At least when, when in, in this kind of an instance.

Leah Bumphry: 00:09:55

So it would grab attention.

Leah Bumphry: 00:09:56

People are not expecting that.

Leah Bumphry: 00:09:58

We've all walked into a store and it's an obvious commissioned

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:02

salesperson and everything looks absolutely fantastic on you.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:06

And it's gorgeous.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:07

Oh, it's perfect.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:07

It fits you like a glove.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:09

It looks fantastic.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:10

And real women hate that as much as real men do.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:14

But yet there are still those unreal type of salespeople that do that.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:18

Now, I'm much more likely to buy the really fancy hat, not the fancy hat,

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:24

but the jacket from the salesperson that looks at one on me and goes, you know

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:29

what, I'm not sure about that one on you.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:32

Let's try this.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:34

Ah!

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:34

Yeah.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:34

Because all of a sudden, she's sharing something with me that's

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:38

maybe not that comfortable.

Dennis Collins: 00:10:41

Say, Leah, that looks doubtful on you.

Leah Bumphry: 00:10:46

And there's been those times, let me tell ya.

Dennis Collins: 00:10:49

Or Leah, I'm anxious when I see you wearing that.

Dennis Collins: 00:10:54

And again, we're kidding, but you get, of course, now here, here's

Dennis Collins: 00:11:00

something that I need your help on.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:02

You are, if anyone has read anything that Leah Bumfrey has written, you are lucky.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:08

You're fortunate because she is a magnificent, inspiring writer.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:12

Uh, if you, if you go to wizard of ads, partners, uh, our webpage.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:19

You'll see her work featured on there under her real name, Leah Bumphrey.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:24

But she's a great storyteller.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:26

And so I'm gonna pose a question to you.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:29

What story Tra ? Yeah, I Trajectory?

Dennis Collins: 00:11:33

Yeah, you can do it.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:34

There you go.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:36

is the most persuasive.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:37

What does science tell us?

Dennis Collins: 00:11:39

Okay, there are three choices.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:40

Straight line, no ups or downs, just straight to the point.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:45

Second, negative up to a positive, and then down to a negative.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:48

So, negative to positive, positive to negative.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:51

Third choice, a roller coaster ride.

Dennis Collins: 00:11:53

Frequent peaks and valleys, many ups and downs, boom, you're on.

Leah Bumphry: 00:11:59

It's a, it's a, it's almost a trick question because

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:01

you think of the word persuasive.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:03

Okay, what story method is the most persuasive?

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:06

You would think the straight line.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:08

You're here and I want you to go to here and I'm just shooting to kill.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:11

I am telling you this is the way it is.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:13

So that's our, our, our head or the, maybe the science dentist

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:17

would have us think it's this.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:20

But in fact.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:21

I don't believe that to be true.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:23

I think when you're telling a story and you're trying to persuade someone, you

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:26

want them to hear what you're saying.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:28

You want them to be part of the story.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:31

You want them to visualize it.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:32

So the up and down, the, the, the setting, the stage, the involving them,

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:37

getting them emotionally invested, having them visualize their own life,

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:41

their own first grade teacher, their own mailbox, whatever, whatever the

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:45

story is about is going to hook them.

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:48

I had, uh, editor ones that told me that that beginning hook that, that, that start

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:53

where you have them decide, yes, I want to know this and they're going to go a little

Leah Bumphry: 00:12:59

bit deeper and then it does a switch.

Leah Bumphry: 00:13:01

So they're going to go a little bit different.

Leah Bumphry: 00:13:03

And then, Oh, here's this different, that is going to persuade much more than just.

Leah Bumphry: 00:13:09

Telling them the story.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:12

Well, Miss Lea, wehh always knew you were about the smartest

Dennis Collins: 00:13:16

person in the room, which is always true.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:19

But, what does the science say?

Dennis Collins: 00:13:22

Okay?

Dennis Collins: 00:13:23

It is somewhat counterintuitive.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:26

As you would, as you said, first, the straight line, no ups or

Dennis Collins: 00:13:31

downs, is probably the go to way that most people tell stories.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:36

But it's not the one that's the most persuasive.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:40

Ah.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:40

It's the roller coaster, just as you, uh, illustrated, the ups and the downs.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:45

That is the most persuasive story.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:48

So when you're crafting a sales story or a story about your business, a

Dennis Collins: 00:13:51

marketing story, use the ups and downs.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:55

You know, maybe your origin story had some downs in it.

Dennis Collins: 00:13:58

There were some bad times, right?

Dennis Collins: 00:14:00

And all of a sudden things got great.

Dennis Collins: 00:14:03

Everything was lovely.

Dennis Collins: 00:14:04

And then all of a sudden, Oh, 2007, 2008 hit boom down again.

Dennis Collins: 00:14:10

How do we recover from that?

Dennis Collins: 00:14:12

That's the kind of story that people listen to and are persuaded by, I guess.

Dennis Collins: 00:14:18

You're right on with that one.

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:19

But Dennis, when you think about it, we were talking at

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:21

the beginning about public speaking and whether you love it or hate it,

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:24

but the ability to do it confidently.

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:26

When you are talking to an audience and you are talking to that one person in

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:30

there and you pick that person and you see them engaged in what it is that you're

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:36

saying, that builds the confidence because when you are connected to all that energy

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:42

in a room, I don't care if you're talking to two people or you're talking to 200 or

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:45

2000, those people If they are listening to you, if you have them coming on this

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:50

ride with you, there's only you and them individually in the story and in the room.

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:55

And that is how you become a confident speaker and that is how

Leah Bumphry: 00:14:59

you persuade and that is how you form connections with your listeners.

Dennis Collins: 00:15:04

Wow, you just gave a brilliant example of

Dennis Collins: 00:15:08

synchronicity, brain synchronicity.

Dennis Collins: 00:15:12

Uh, that is exactly what happens.

Dennis Collins: 00:15:14

Let's say that the experiment that I'm thinking of that, uh,

Dennis Collins: 00:15:18

the Wharton professors have done is about a movie trailer, okay?

Dennis Collins: 00:15:22

And they put groups of people in different theaters and they play

Dennis Collins: 00:15:25

different movie trailers for them, right?

Dennis Collins: 00:15:28

And the ones that resonate most are brief, emotional, to the point.

Dennis Collins: 00:15:34

And short.

Dennis Collins: 00:15:35

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:15:35

They're not long winded trailers and guess which one they try others that

Dennis Collins: 00:15:42

are longer, louder, not as compelling.

Dennis Collins: 00:15:47

guess which one wins, the one that creates brain synchronicity, they put

Dennis Collins: 00:15:51

them in an fMRI machine and the brains are synchronized, which means that is

Dennis Collins: 00:15:56

the highest level of communication.

Dennis Collins: 00:15:58

So you just perfectly described that.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:00

I hope our listeners will go back and play that over because she said it as well

Dennis Collins: 00:16:05

or better than any scientist ever said.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:08

Thank you folks!

Dennis Collins: 00:16:10

Okay!

Dennis Collins: 00:16:12

Next topic, turn past into present.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:15

Okay, what does that all mean?

Dennis Collins: 00:16:17

Well, a lot of times we use a past tense.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:20

Well, this thing was true at some point in the past, the solution worked

Dennis Collins: 00:16:24

well, uh, something, um, that we found this to be true in the past.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:31

doesn't work as well as this solution works.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:35

Well, not worked well, or what you find today, not what you found.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:41

Isn't that interesting?

Dennis Collins: 00:16:42

Present tense suggests action, doing something, some stability,

Dennis Collins: 00:16:47

something more enduring than something that used to happen.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:52

So put your past.

Dennis Collins: 00:16:54

Isn't that something, put the past tense in the past and use action words.

Leah Bumphry: 00:16:59

I am enjoying our conversations.

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:03

I'm not hoping to enjoy our conversations.

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:05

I am enjoying them.

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:08

If I, if I say I'm hoping to, that leaves you going, Oh, is she hoping

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:11

that that sounds going to be good?

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:13

Is it?

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:13

What, what, what?

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:14

Or she did before she doesn't anymore?

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:17

No, I am.

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:17

We are wired, but we're wired to think of.

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:22

What is as being what always will be and, and where we are.

Leah Bumphry: 00:17:26

And that is so important because that's all our brain understands.

Dennis Collins: 00:17:31

Present tense, you got it, the now.

Dennis Collins: 00:17:35

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:17:36

So let's wrap this up into a little new year's gift, put a bow on it.

Dennis Collins: 00:17:42

How can you speak with more confidence?

Dennis Collins: 00:17:46

Forget the hedge words, forget about the kind of, the maybes, the

Dennis Collins: 00:17:51

usuallys, the generallys, et cetera.

Dennis Collins: 00:17:54

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:17:55

Uh, forget.

Dennis Collins: 00:17:57

Oh, I forgot one.

Dennis Collins: 00:17:58

The verbal tics.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:01

Forget the verbal tics.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:03

Uh, I, I, have you ever been a member of Toastmasters by any chance?

Leah Bumphry: 00:18:07

I've taken some classes, but not a member.

Leah Bumphry: 00:18:09

No.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:10

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:11

Well, I've been a member for years and they have a little ceremony.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:15

I guess you can call it ritual that whenever you say a tick word, they ring a

Dennis Collins: 00:18:20

bell right in the middle of your speech.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:22

You could be given the most serious.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:25

speech you've ever given in your life.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:26

And if you say, um, er, filler words, ding, the bell goes off

Dennis Collins: 00:18:31

right in the middle of your speech.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:32

Now you don't stop speaking.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:34

It just to warn you that you said a filler word.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:36

Okay.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:38

How about recorded sales calls?

Dennis Collins: 00:18:39

As you know, I listened to hundreds of hours of actual recorded sales calls.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:45

I will say this.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:47

The person in this particular group that is doing the worst at closing

Dennis Collins: 00:18:52

uses the most filler words, verbal tics, and transcripts don't lie.

Dennis Collins: 00:18:59

And you know, and the transcripts that I pull, all the filler words are underlined.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:04

You can actually have them removed from the transcript.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:06

I leave them in.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:07

I want them to see it.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:08

Okay?

Dennis Collins: 00:19:09

It absolutely takes away from your credibility.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:12

Absolutely.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:13

There's no question about it.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:16

Rather than use a filler word, here's what you should do.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:21

Pause.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:22

Just pause.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:24

When you need to think, if you need to think before you speak.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:28

By the way, speakers who pause are viewed more positively.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:33

They are thought to be more competent than people who use filler words.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:36

So we gotta get rid of the, the, the ahs.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:39

Just think of that bell ringing every time you Yeah!

Dennis Collins: 00:19:45

That's it.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:46

Ah.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:47

Ding!

Dennis Collins: 00:19:49

Okay, so let's close this up.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:51

How about the hedge words?

Dennis Collins: 00:19:52

Get rid of them.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:53

Use definite words.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:55

When to admit a mistake.

Dennis Collins: 00:19:56

When you are perceived as competent, a small mistake once

Dennis Collins: 00:19:59

in a while is a good thing.

Dennis Collins: 00:20:01

Use emotional words, but emotional words with an uncertain load.

Dennis Collins: 00:20:06

Use the best story structure, which is the roller coaster, and get rid of

Dennis Collins: 00:20:10

verbal tics, and use the present tense.

Dennis Collins: 00:20:13

What do you think, Leah?

Dennis Collins: 00:20:14

There's seven tips.

Dennis Collins: 00:20:16

You can start being more confident and more persuasive today.

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:21

Absolutely.

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:22

And you know what?

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:23

The old, you remember the old joke that you just had to visualize people

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:27

naked when you're talking to them with a big group to have that confidence?

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:30

Then we don't have to do that because that's, that's

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:32

not comfortable for anybody.

Dennis Collins: 00:20:34

Uh, let me assure you that never worked for me.

Dennis Collins: 00:20:38

Well, I guess it depends on your audience.

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:40

Well, there you go.

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:42

That, that synchronicity, hey?

Dennis Collins: 00:20:44

Synchronicity.

Dennis Collins: 00:20:46

So what do you think, Leah?

Dennis Collins: 00:20:47

Does this, does this ring true?

Dennis Collins: 00:20:50

Do you think this will help our small business owners, our sales

Dennis Collins: 00:20:53

managers, our sales people?

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:55

I, I really believe it does it, it, it is, it all

Leah Bumphry: 00:20:59

comes back to wizard of ads.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:01

org, right?

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:01

Wizard academy.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:02

org.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:03

I should say.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:04

Wizard academy.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:05

org.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:05

The, the small business.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:08

Yeah.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:08

Well, our sponsor and our, our ability to have.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:12

To direct our listeners to classes there that are very very specific

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:15

the I mean, I think of the young Writer's class where the help kids

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:20

become that much more confident

Dennis Collins: 00:21:27

I should have never mentioned that

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:30

You know what?

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:30

We're gonna we're gonna be regretting that I think my bell

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:32

sounded a little different Wow.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:34

What did you say that got belled?

Dennis Collins: 00:21:37

I don't think you deserve the bell,

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:39

Leah.

Leah Bumphry: 00:21:39

I think we're just going to power through it.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:42

Go ahead.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:43

Wizard Academy is, it's a must.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:46

If you haven't been there, go to wizardacademy.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:48

org.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:49

Do yourself a favor.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:50

Look at the lineup of 2024 classes.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:54

They've got a ton of them already on the books.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:57

Pick one that you like.

Dennis Collins: 00:21:59

Sign up.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:01

And go sign up early because the early birds get a beautiful accommodation

Dennis Collins: 00:22:07

on campus in Austin, Texas, right in here where the classes are held with

Dennis Collins: 00:22:13

food and drink and a wonderful time.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:16

So wizardacademy.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:18

org

Leah Bumphry: 00:22:19

and much like our podcast, it is everything you learn is

Leah Bumphry: 00:22:23

going to be based on science, but it comes with such a degree of heart that

Leah Bumphry: 00:22:27

when you go back to your real life.

Leah Bumphry: 00:22:29

Everything's going to be better.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:32

It will be.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:33

We guarantee it.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:34

Boom.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:35

Okay, that's it for this edition of Connect & Convert.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:40

We look forward to seeing you the next time.

Dennis Collins: 00:22:43

Stay tuned.